What about Divorce for a Christian? Part 2

Taken at face value, we see that Jesus is allowing for divorce under the condition of “marital unfaithfulness” in both Matthew 5:32 and 19:9. In both passages Deuteronomy 24:1 is quoted as part of the discussion about divorce. This passage from Deuteronomy was debated among a couple of the Rabbinic schools of Jesus’ time. One side (Shammai) said that “because he finds something indecent about her” meant adultery. The other school (Hillel) said that same phrase meant that a man could divorce his wife for anything, even burning breakfast. Meaning anything that was displeasing to the man about the woman could be grounds for divorce. This was the debate that the Pharisees in Matthew 19 were trying to get Jesus to enter. But, Jesus in his normal manner talks above the debate. He lays down the law that divorce is not something to be taken lightly. His stance in Matthew puts the issue back on the husband and protects the wife. In the midst of a very patriarchal society, Jesus is standing up for the women, the wives. They cannot be thrown out for just any reason, it had better be a very good one.
So, what is marital unfaithfulness? It is a Greek term, porneia. We can easily see the kinship to the word pornography. What did it mean for Jesus to use this term? Jesus means more than just sexual unfaithfulness as an acceptable reason for divorce. The proper term for just sexual unfaithfulness is used later in each passage – adultery or moykah in the Greek. Porneia is linked to prostitution and is also used figuratively when someone is committing idolatry (Revelation 14:8; 17:2,4; 18:3; 19:2). In the whole book of Hosea the people of Israel are playing the “harlot” or prostitute because of their idolatry. This can especially be seen in Hosea 2. This idolatry is a sin because it is breaking the covenant relationship between God and His people. In Jeremiah 3, this idea of idolatry and breaking of the covenant is linked to divorce. Therefore, marital unfaithfulness is breaking of the marriage covenant in any manner. It is anything that breaks the “oneness” that Jesus quotes in Matthew 19:5-6 from Genesis 2:24.
What kind of real life things break the marriage covenant? This can be a vast number of things. Adultery is only one thing that can break the marriage covenant. Many times the things that are breaking down the oneness in a marriage do involve idolatry. I am sure you can imagine many instances when a spouse “worships” things other than God. This can be idolatry of self, an object (especially a possession), a hobby or someone outside the marriage, but maybe not even in a fully sexual manner. Idolatry of self can lead to many types of abuse of a spouse, especially emotional abuse. You do not have to remain married to someone that abuses you emotionally, physically or mentally, just because they haven’t sexually cheated on you. They are breaking the marriage covenant by abusing you. God doesn’t want you to put you or your children in abusive situations just to keep a marriage that is being broken by the abuse. Abusive spouses tear apart families and create abusers or enablers in their children. I guarantee you that is not God’s plan for the family or marriage. Even hobbies and friendships can be so involved as to break the oneness of a marriage.
Just because the covenant is broken, it doesn’t mean that you have to get a divorce, it just means it is possible. Many marriages have been healed from the most terrible circumstances through prayer and counseling. Sometimes if that doesn’t seem to be working or cannot get started, a time of planned separation can help bring focus to the problems that are breaking down the marriage covenant. The most important thing to understand is that you are not alone in this situation. God is with you, loving you and not judging you. You also have Christian friends, family and ministers that you can lean on. If you have further questions you can contact me.
God be with you on the Journey!
Kevin

What about Divorce for a Christian? Part 1

What the scriptures begin to say:
This is not an easy topic to cover. Even when Jesus was asked about divorce there had to be a bit of clarification that he had to do. It is clear that divorce just because my spouse doesn’t make breakfast right or some other self-serving reason is not a good thing. But, it is also clear to me that there are many more reasons to allow divorce than just sexual adultery.
Divorce is discussed in six places in the New Testament. Matthew 1:19 discusses the possibility of Joseph divorcing Mary because she had become pregnant in their betrothal. In Matthew 5:31-32, we have a short, clear statement in the Sermon on the Mount about divorce. Matthew 19:1-9 and Mark 10:14-18 seem to be accounts of a similar time when the Pharisees were trying to test Jesus by challenging him on the issue of divorce. Luke 16:18 just seems to be a self contained statement on divorce that doesn’t really fit the context of the scripture around it. First Corinthians 7:10-16 gives an account from Paul on divorce, especially concerning divorce between a Christian spouse and a non-believing spouse.
The Old Testament is not real cohesive on its discussion of divorce. In Malachi 2:16 we are told, “God hates divorce.” But in Ezra 10, the people seem to be honoring God by divorcing their wives that are not Jewish. There are a number of discussions about how a divorced woman should act and how the rest of the people should act toward the divorced woman. In many ways, she would be treated as a widow, thereby recognizing divorce as probable. There are some key statements in Jeremiah 3 where it begins with statements concerning a man divorcing his wife and then talks about the people of Israel and Judah acting like “whores” because they broke the covenant of relationship with God.
The problem with the Old Testament discussion is that it is based in a patriarchal society and only allows the man to divorce the woman. It seems that Jesus’ statements and the New Testament as a whole counteract these patriarchal understandings of life in general and divorce. “there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28)

Mission Trips as a Waste of Time

I guess I am just up for blogging tonight. I wanted to share an article with you. It is from the website of The Center for Student Missions (CSM) http://www.csm.org/articlewhymost.php The article is titled, "Why Most Mission Trips Are A: Waste of Time"
The things this article addresses need to really be considered before you go on a "mission" trip. There are a number of pitfalls with how we tend to do things for these trips and it makes a person wonder if they are worth all of the money and effort that we put into them.
God be with you on the Journey!
Kevin

Big Change Coming

Well, for those few that haven't heard, things are changing. On June 14, 2009, Centerville Baptist Church in Chesapeake, Virginia extended a call for me to become their pastor. I accepted that call. My last Sunday at Hamilton will be July 12. We are then going to a family reunion over the weekend of July 19 and the movers are coming July 21. This is all exciting and scary! Please pray for us.
Our parents are having a "Going away" party on Saturday, July 11, at our home in Hamilton. Everyone is invited. Games start at 5:00 PM (Cherokee marbles, basketball, washers, etc.), we will eat at about 6:30 PM and entertainment starts at about 7:30 PM. Come ready to write or tell us some of your memories with us. RSVP to my email.
You can check out Centerville at http://www.centervillebaptistchurch.org .
We are sad to leave so many folks that have touched our lives during our ministry in Hamilton. It is the only place my girls know as home. As one lady said today, "They will always be Hamiltonians!" There will always be part of us here.
We are also sad to leave our families. It has been a real blessing to live just about 45 miles from each set of our parents. Our children have been blessed to be so close to their grandparents. This change will be very hard.
We know that God would not be leading in this call if He did not have something awesome in store for this family and for Centerville and for Hamilton and for our families. It is going to be a great adventure finding out!
God be with you on the Journey!
Kevin

Clenching fist and open hand

Clenching fist and open hand
A song by Brian McLaren

Sometimes we wonder whether God really does exist,
And if God’s way is of the open hand or clenching fist.
And while some preachers argue over doctrines and demands,
Their followers are making clenching fists of open hands.
Open up your hands.
So is religion killing us? Is it tearing us apart?
Does it open space to reconcile, or shrink the heart?
Two paths lie before us. One constricts and one expands.
One is the way of clenching fists; the other, open hands.
Stretch your open hands.
What we hold in mind and heart flows down through the wrist
And is expressed in open hand or in clenching fist
And so we build on solid rock, or else unstable sand;
And so we live by clenching fist or by the open hand.
Reach out open hands.
If we fight and fear and hate, our conflicts will persist
Until we trust the open hand more than the clenching fist
In church and mosque and synagogue, how many understand
The living God is the loving God of the open hand?
Join your open hands.
There were hands that blessed the children, touched and healed and fed
Hands that poured a cup of wine, hands that broke the bread
Hands that remained open even when the hammer fell
Hands that hold us and that open through our hands as well.
Raise your open hands.

Thinking about Worship

Have you heard The Revelation Song? Here is a link to Kari Jobe leading worship with Gateway Worship: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bL0nDrEYDnk

We play this song often on our home computer. It helps me really worship with my whole being. Check it out!

God be with you on your journey,
Kevin

Relationships With Each Other

This is a big issue in Christian life! You can look at it from many angles. The problem with Christians relating to one another is that at the core we are all sinners. That means we will all let one another down and even hurt one another. In response to this, many “church folks” think that the way to relate and have unity is to just grin and bear it. In an effort to try to keep the peace, many people will not deal with the issues that hurt or anger them. Then, after a while, they will stop coming or blow up. I have heard many people say that church people get in the way of their relationship with God. I can understand that statement because people you are trying to love and live a deeper life with always have the opportunity to hurt you more than anyone else in the world.

So, what are we to do? How are we to live life together? For deeper reading on the subject, I would recommend Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s book, Life Together. Past that, I would suggest that we learn to love our Christian friends in a way that the source of our love is not us, but God. If we are only drawing on our own resources to love one another, we are not different than people outside of the church. We are merely barterers exchanging the love we receive for the love we give. If we really believe that we belong to, love and serve Yahweh, the God of the universe, the one that sent His Son, Jesus, to show us His love and character, and to die on the cross for our sins – then we must begin to live with our Christian brothers and sisters in a manner that reflects the love of this awesome God!

In his book, Uprising, (chapters 6-8) Erwin McManus says that broken people are like black holes. They will never be filled up, no matter how much love is shown to them. But, people that learn to live with God as the never ending source of love, can keep on loving, even when that love is not being returned, because God is making them whole, not other people. He goes on to define wholeness as giving more than you take emotionally. If you are a giver, you are more likely to experience wholeness. If you are a taker, you are more likely to experience brokenness.

There is much to say about this topic. I hope you will help me by adding to some of these thoughts or disagreeing with them. I would love to hear from you.

I hope you are experiencing Godly wholeness today!

God be with you on your journey!
Kevin